Sleeping Monkey

Not only does Rip Torn sound like a drunk retard with a cock in it’s mouth, but he also likes to spend his friday nights getting shit faced and trying to rob banks!

Torn, 78, was being held on $100,000 bond after state police responded to an alarm at the Litchfield Bank in Salisbury, the Connecticut town where the actor lives, and found him inside the closed bank “with a loaded revolver” and “highly intoxicated,” according to a police report issued on Saturday.

He was charged with burglary, criminal trespass and criminal mischief and weapons charges.

Torn, who won an Emmy for “The Larry Sanders Show” in 1992, has most recently appeared in several episodes of “30 Rock” as network head Don Geiss. He starred in the hit film “Men in Black” and its sequel, as well as scores of other films and television shows over six decades. He was nominated for an Oscar for “Cross Creek” in 1983, two years before his wife, Geraldine Page, won the Best Actress Oscar.

I guess those royalty checks for Freddy got Fingered and Down Periscope aren’t paying as much as he thought. And perhaps he should have taken notes when he was filming The Almost Perfect Bank Robbery. But he was probably too busy trying to bang Brooke Shields.

Although usually I just bitch about how much I hate such and such movie, but I’m going to say something good for once. If you haven’s seen it I would HIGHLY recommend seeing Eulogy. It’s easily in my top 10 favorite movies of the decade. Just pure awesomeness. If you have netflix check it out. Or if you are a cheap bastard and get your movies illegally off the net somewhere.

This is what Britney Spears actually wore to the Grammys. This isn’t even the type of thing a low class stripper who had been sexually abused by her father would sleep in, let alone go out in public. I mean, what the fuck is going on here? Was she all cracked out and realize she was late and left her house wearing just a tank top and underwear, then ripped the screen off her front door and thought, yeah, this will work, I’m hot