So for the last few days all the news has been talking about is this super storm Nemo that is supposed to come and kill us all. The news has been talking about the feet of snow we are supposed to get, at work yesterday the HR department was sending out storm readiness emails and shit.
The thing was supposed to show up around midnight, and start butt raping us from the start.
I usually get up for work at 5:45am, but since last time we got dumped on I had navigation issues in the morning, I decided to get up at 5:00 today.
So I got up like 20 minutes ago, go out to the kitchen to make some tea, go to the living room to look out the window to see how bad it is.
Not a goddamn thing.
My tired ass could have slept for another 45 minutes, I woke up early because of this?
Also fuck you weathermen.
So now it will be a guessing game all day. Are we in the clear and won’t get anything? Is it just late and moving slower than expected and will kill us even worse? Is it going to bomb us at 9am? Noon? 3pm?
Ugh. Some times I feel like I just want to move to San Diego where it is basically the same weather every day. But then I remember I don’t really care for it much over 70 degrees, and also San Diego is filled with a bunch of assholes
So for those of you have been around here in Monkey land for years, you know that this is a business. It wasn’t until a few months ago when I pulled the ads off the site, changed the format. I still have a bunch of other sites which are still adult in nature.
But for years I have used a number of different ad companies. There have been ups, there have been downs, there have been places that went under.
One of the best ad companies I was using was Adbrite.
They were perfect. Paid per impression, and per click, and paid all the time.
But then September rolled around.
Back in september the eCPM that I was getting, that means what I get paid per 1000 ad impressions by the way, started to drop.
A FUCKING LOT
A couple years ago I was making almost $1 per 1000 views. then it got lower, then lover, then lower.
About 3 months ago it got so low with adbrite I was making about 3 cents per 1000.
That is ridiculous. I went from making $500 here, to making $50 there.
It kept getting worse.
Then out of nowhere Adbrite started severing totally shit ads.
You might remember last fall when the site was actually being blocked by google for a few days. They started serving Trojans, and basically just giving up on their good standing.
It just kept getting worse to the point where I was making under 1 cent per 1000
Then there is this week. I had 3 checks from them, none for much, the most was like $34 and the lowest was like $18.
Well, I got my mail today, had a bunch of thing from my bank.
Yeah, they all bounced.
So they go from one of the best companies for ads, to a piece of shit that sends you checks that are going to bounce.
I took all their ads off, I have replaced them with ads from another company called Juicy Ads. They have been awesome. they keep good record, always pay, and pay on time, and pay every week, where as Adbrite was every 90s.
So fuck you Adbrite. Juicy ads trumps your ass.
I was in my kitchen a few minutes ago cooking diner, and my door bell rang. It was this dude all bundled up, with a clip board trying to sell me direct TV.
Right now where I live, it is snowing like a bitch and is 12 degrees outside. But this poor bastard parked his car at the end of the road and is going door to door to try to sell people on getting Direct TV. Even though almost all of us out here already get cable from Time Warner.
To me direct TV fucking sucks. I have friends who have gotten it, and then dumped it because of the stations they carry. Even more so, there is the guy across the street from me. He had constant problems, and when ever he would call would be told that it would take 3-5 business days for them to send a tech to his house, or he could go and do a calibration on his own. To the dish which is mounted on the side of his roof. Couple years ago he fell off the roof doing that, then ended up dumping them. My neighbor had it too, they put it on a pole on the side of his yard, during a wind storm, said pole broke, and the dish smashed into the ground and broke.
Even sadder story if that I also have a friend who works for them, and does inside/outisde sales, and has done this very job.
He was making $9.25 an hour and would get a $35 bonus for every person he signed up.
If you are going into a new housing development with new home owners who just moved in, that’s one thing, a lot of them might be in the market for it. but for me, I live in a development that was built 35 years ago. Every one I live around either has cable, or will never get it. Anyone who wants Direct TV already has it, but 99% of people stick with time Warner.
I live at the very end of my track and the last street, on a dead end. I asked the guy how long he had been going around out neighborhood. He said since 10am. I asked him how many people he signed up .
I felt so bad for the guy I had him come in my house to warm up, made him cocoa and talked to him for like a half hour (there were only 6 more houses to do)
He seemed like the most miserable person I’d ever encountered. He actually had a degree in communications, but could not find a job with it, and took a customer service job with Direct TV.
But that only paid $8.25 an hour, so he went into sales because it paid over $1 an hour more plus commission. But he never makes anything, since the first of the year he had gone to like 2000 houses but only signed up 3 people.
I wanted to cry for the poor bastard, and told him that he should try to get a job with the company I work for. But even that would suck.
but no way it could be worse that this shit.
Last winter was awesome, ya know why? Cause it didn’t fucking snow around here. Sure we got our usual 2-3 inches here and there, but no real actual storms. Even the little ones we only had maybe 10-12 of them. That I can deal with. But for the most part, I fucking hate snow.
Last week the weather people here were all WE’RE GONNA DIE! Telling us that we were going to get like 18-24 inches of snow Friday and Saturday. Yeah I ended up with what would be considered a “light dusting”. It didn’t even totally cover the grass.
Last night they said that we were going to get like 8-10 inches over night. I figured, sure, whatever dude, blow me where the pampers is.
Last night around 8pm I look out my front window and I could barely see the house across the street. I went to bed at 9:15 (cause I’m a party animal) and looked out my back window and couldn’t even see the woods, it was snowing like a bitch.
I woke up at 2:15 in the morning, and saw orange flashing lights out the window, at first I thought I was having some weird dream, but then realized it was the guy plowing my drive way. So I went back to sleep.
I woke up at 5:20 to start getting ready for work, looked out the window, not snowing any more, driveway was plowed, only like maybe an inch from what I could see in the driveway and the street was plowed.
At 5:55 I leave for work, open the garage, look out, noticed there was more snow than I thought in the drive way, maybe like 4-5 inches.
Never even dawned on me to look at the end of the driveway.
I pull out of the driveway, and I’m like crap, this is getting deeper, then I look back and FUCK.
When I was taking my shower and getting ready for work, the street plow had come down, thus throwing all the snow from the street into the bottom of my drive way.
I’d already hit the pile and was like, know what buddy, past the point of no return, gun it and lets get the fuck out of here.
I got my back wheels through most of the pile, and then stuck.
Never in my life getting out of there stuck.
So, I’m already in a bad mood cause I hate driving in snow, I was also tired and grumpy cause I got up an extra half hour early just for extra planning for shitty roads, and pissed off to hell that I was stuck and was going to have to shovel myself out.
So I start shoveling, and as I’m getting further down the snow, which was that heavy wet shit, was starting to become ice. It got the the point where my snow shovel did nothing and I had to actually go get a metal gardening shovel just to break the ice.
I threw some salt down, and some kittie litter I keep in my trunk. Give it a go, no dice. Wouldn’t even move an inch. I know how to get out of somewhere when you are stuck in snow, I’ve been driving around here for 15 years. You slowly move up like an inch, then stop, then go back, rinse repeat to give you a small ever growing area of traction. But this fucker wasn’t even moving the inch. It was moving nowhere.
I kept digging for another 20 minutes, at this point my knees and back were killing me, I was freezing yet covered in sweat at the same time, and pretty much wanting to slit my throat.
I hate my neighbors, they are all a bunch of assholes. Except one. there is one guy who was always close with my family, and I’m still cool with. He was coming out to go to work and saw me out there. He has a plow on his truck, so he came over and was like, here I’ll get out and try to push you.
Tried that, not a chance. So then he is like, do you have anything on your car to hook up to the truck that I can pull you out?
I did not. Annoying side story, so I have a choice of 2 cars I could have taken. One is like a foot and a half off the ground, the other is like 6 inches, which one do you think my stupid ass took?
So anyhow, then he was like, do you have a spare tire or something, we can hook that up to your bumped than I can push you into your drive way with my plow, then plow this shit out of the way for you.
The only spare I have is the thing in my trunk and didn’t feel like dealing with that. So I went back into my garage and gold a rolled up hose. Put that back there and then he pushed me into the middle of my drive way. then he plowed all the crap out, and I was able to get out and then on my way.
So that was very cool.
The roads on the way to work were their usual winter shit, and filled with the usual asshole drivers.
Then I get to work, and the plow people apparently are retarded. We have a massive parking lot, so they use front loaders to plow it out. But for some reason the idiots plowed every single row at the same time, to the very top of the row. So once I got off the road into the parking lot, I had no where to go. I couldn’t actually get off the roadway and into a parking spot.
Then 4 more people came in, and now we had a line starting up, finally the idiot realized what he was doing and cleared one of the rows, so we got to park there, which was in East Bumfuck.
So all in all, Pretty shitty morning, and thanks in part to that cunt Mother Nature
I actually watched this piece of shit movie, wish I would have just watched this, even if it is like 25 minutes long
So unless you have been living under a rock today, you have probably heard about the 4 firefighters who were shot when responding to a house fire.
Yeah, so the fucked up thing? this was like 10 minutes away.
When I got to work this morning there were a bunch of people who were late saying that they couldn’t get down some roads because the roads were blocked. When I got into work at 6:30 we have a bunch of large Tvs around the production floor, and they had the news. As I walked by it was talking about this big fire.
A little later it started talking about dead firemen. A little while after that it started talking about how some crazy piece of shit started shooting the firemen.
It was a little weird having it be local, cause at the same time if was on the local news (and is still on every station) it was also the lead story on the 24 hour news channels. It was strange to see how that works, how the national news basically makes shit up for a few hours.
So basically this piece of shit lit a house on fire, he then waited for the firemen to come. They came, he shot at them, killed 2, and 2 are in the ICU, there was just a press conference on with the Dr. He started shooting, and the firemen were like, fuck this. I’m not sure if they ever even put it out, at of like noon they were like fuck that we’re just going to let it burn out, and it had taken out 4 or 5 houses for far. The worthless pussy who did the shooting also shot himself.
To make matters worse, this is going to ramp up the discussion on gun laws even more than they already have been. This is a discussion that quite frankly, I’m sick of.
Like most hyper-partisan topics, both sides are completely retarded in what they have to say.
When the NRA came out the other day and said that the solution would be MORE guns I nearly shit myself laughing. The fact they should actually say something that stupid actually made me sad that some organization would say it, run this through their higher ups, and then publicly release it. Umm, remember Columbine? they had an armed guard. Are you going to put one at every entrance, in every hallway?
I know a lot of people, especially the gun happy nuts probably went to little tiny schools, but thinking back when i was in High School there were at least 18 different entrances I remember.
So these people who are all smaller government, protect the 2nd amendment, robble robble robble, also want to put armed guards everywhere? You know who else liked to put armed guards everywhere?
Yeah I went there.
Saying the solution to the gun problem is just to give more people guns, is tied for the stupidest thing I have heard on this topic.
The thing it is tied with is the utter bullshit the super liberals want to do. Passing all these ridiculous laws banning this, banning that.
What the fuck do you think that is going to do. when a crazy person has it in their head to go kill a bunch of people, the last thing they are thinking about is the legality of the situation.
People who think creating all sorts of strict guns laws, banning certain types of guns, is all of a sudden going to make things better are equally as out of touch with reality as their gun nut counterparts.
Drugs are illegal. Doesn’t stop people from doing them. Can’t buy cigarettes till you’re 18, doesn’t stop 15 year olds from smoking. and how did that whole prohibition thing go?
Most of these people who go around shooting shit up don’t swing by Wal Mart, buy a bunch of guns and go on a shooting spree. Most of them steal the guns from a family member. A family member who passed the background check and was perfectly lawfully allowed to have said gun, but sucked at storing it. You can’t protect against stupid.
Plus, if these people really have it in their heads that they want to kill a bunch of people, they are going to do it. Be it guns, knives, axes, bombs, molotov cocktail, what the fuck ever.
Crazy is crazy, and there isn’t really any way to expect it, or plan for it.
How about instead of having a retarded conversation about this stuff, we stop glorifying these fucking people. Most of these people have a sort of Billy the Kid syndrome. Their goal is to go out in a blaze of glory. They went through life being the person no one noticed, but now they will go out in spectacular fashion, and everyone will remember their name.
Every time you have some asshole who does some sort of fucked up thing, and the 24 hour news spends 2 weeks talking about it, somewhere there is some equally as crazy asshole sitting in a basement somewhere thinking that could be him, and thinking of ways to one up them.
Ever have one of those days that is just fail after fail?
Yeah that was me today, it was like I never woke up this morning, and was in a total fog all day. Pretty much everything I did was wrong, and kept having brain farts all day long
- When I was getting ready for work, I got out to my garage, realized I left my water bottle in my room. So went back and got it.
- I left for work, I get to the end of my street, and I realized that I forgot my cell phone, so I turned around, went back and got it.
- I got about half way to work, and was like FUCK, I forgot by badge. I work in a secure building, so with out it, I can’t get in, and even if I make it to the guard, I can’t have anyone in my department sign me in since I’m the first one there, so I would have to sit in the lobby for 2 hours till the next person got there. So I turn around again, go home. I keep my badge on a hook in my bedroom. I get to the hook, wtf? not there. So then I start tearing my room apart looking for it. Yeah, bout that. I already had it on. I put it on when my collar was up, and when I put the collar down it went over the thing the badge hangs from. So that pissed me off
- I get to work, get to my desk, go to login to my system. I have 11 passwords for all the various systems and applications I use. I was drawing a total blank as to the password. I just looked at my keyboard for like 3 minutes till I remembered it
- Next, I needed to do some NSLOOKUP’s on a few IP addresses to get their PTR and I open up a command prompt, and instead of doing an NSLOOKUP I was pinging the IP address, and then wondering where the hell the answers section was (that’s probably only going to mean something for the nerds)
- Once I figured out what I was doing, I needed to make an SSH connection to one of the servers. That was like trying to figure out the meaning of life. I shut everything down, and just looked at the desk top on one of my screens thinking to myself there is something on there I need. Then I open up a new command prompt, and am life, wtf am I doing. I gave up and checked last nihts basketball scores online then remembered, OH YEAH, I gotta launch Putty in order to make the SSH connection (that’s also only going to make sense to the nerds)
- When I went to lunch, I went to log out of my phone, to which I have to put a code in the phone so that people know that I am on lunch. Yeah I forgot how to do that and ended up dialing some random person in the company’s extension. I just hung up on then.
- Later in the day I was getting a head ache, I took my glasses off to rub my eyes, when I went to put my glasses back on, I showed one of the arms right into my eye.
That was about the time I said fuck this, spent the next 45 minutes just reading wikipedia articles, and then logged out for the day and went home. Luckily I was able to make it home without killing myself.
and now I’m going to curl up in bed with some green tea and watch FDR: American Badass because it looks like it might be the worst movie ever made
For the most part, I am a rather cynical person. I generally hate people.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you have no doubt heard about the worthless piece of shit guy in Connecticut that walked in to A FUCKING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and started shooting people.
Look. I hate people. I hate children. I don’t like looking at them, I don’t like being around them, I don’t like hearing about them. the only child I ever liked was myself.
But with that said, I wish I was a religious person so I could believe that there is a special place in hell for this piece of shit.
Adam Lanza. fuck you. I just wish that you hadn’t killed yourself and one of the cops could have put a bullet in your fucking head.
Generally when it comes to big massacre type things, I am totally apathetic, I don’t give a shit. That Batman thing? don’t care. Columbine? don’t care. Virginia Tech? Don’t care. 9/11? Don’t care.
I don’t really give a shit about when adults die. I did most of my good living at 17-21 so if I were to die today, meh, who cares, I lived a good life. In the case of the movie theater, or high schools, don’t care, you’re old enough to either get the fuck out of the way, or stop it. Sort of like that 9/11 plane in PA. I’m not a 9/11 conspiracy theorist or anything, but you can’t tell me that plane was not shot down. A few brown guys with Box Cutters? Are you shitting me? If I’m in a steel tube 30,000 feet in the air, you better bet your ass I’m going to rush that mother fucker. Why not? Get cut a few times? who cares? A hell of a lot better than a fucking plane crash. You can’t tell me on a plane with a couple hundred people there weren’t 20 who would be like fuck this lets jump them?
Anyhow, I got off topic.
Like I was saying, dead adults, don’t care.
But walking into an elementary school and opening fire?
That is just fucked up. These are little kids. These kids probably had no idea what was even happening. They were probably completely confused. They aren’t old enough to realize how fucked up the world is.
All this tells me is that she shooter was a coward, and a pussy.
Fuck him, I’m glad he is dead, and I hope he burns in hell.
there was a time a few years ago when AVG was the good shit, those of us that work in the IT industry would usually recommend them to people, those days are over. then have been getting shittier and shittier for a while. It started with them falling WAY behind other programs like Malwarebytes. then they started getting too involved. Adding all sorts of little add on programs, where now days if you have their entire suite of garbage you’re looking at the same price as most legit enterprise solutions.
A about a week ago, being the retard I am, just for good old fashion shits and giggles I downloaded the Trial of AVG PC Tuneup. I was just curious as to what the hell it did. The answer is not a fuck of a lot. Clear out your trash bin, temp files, and you can do it all yourself.
I ran it the one time and was like, what the fuck? That’s it? I could have done this myself in less time that it took to download this 60MB piece of shit.
I was going to uninstall it right then, but I got side track with something shiny or something. Then I totally forgot it was on there.
A couple days later, I’m sitting in bed watching TV, the laptop was on my desk doing it thing and then POOF. Automatic reboot.
Needless to say I was a little off guard by that. So I started it back up, nothing weird. I leave it alone, wake up in the morning, it’s rebooted again. Go to work, rebooted again.
So when I have time I start going through logs, and I see that it is that fucking thing having critical errors. The “trial” for it, was to just run it once. BUT when it likes to add it’s own scheduled task, and does so even though it is expired. So again even though it is expired, it keeps trying to launch. It would throw up little warnings like “Your computer is running slow” and then when you click on it, it would tell you that it is expired. Also year it was running slow cause that fucking thing was using up 1GB (not 1GB, a fucking GB) of memory to not run.
So finally I’m like, ok, I got 5 free minutes, lets uninstall this piece of shit.
I got to control panel, go to uninstall it. HELL NO. It won’t do it. Get the uninstall shield, and then boom, restart. I disabled the automatic restart so I’d actually get the Blue Screen of Death to see the error code. Yeah critical errors from that thing.
ok, so I’m like fuck it, I won’t do it through the control panel. Instead I’ll go install it from the actual install file. The uninstall file for this thing is called unis000.exe or something like that, doesn’t matter, cause it wasn’t there.
At this point I’m like fuck it, whatever, I’ll just kill the start up process and be done with it. So do the old msconfig kill the process on start up, reboot. 2 minutes later the fucker popped up again. Kill the task, right back. then I’m like, oh yeah, fucking scheduled task. So I kill that.
But at this point the thing was pissing me off, and I wanted to get rid of it. The thing wouldn’t uninstall on it’s own, so I thought, hmm, if I download it again, it will say it is already there and ask if I want to remove the previous version. i could do that, then just stop the install, delete the exe. Yeah, didn’t work, I got to the uninstall part and then boomshakalaka. Restart.
So when It was restarted I was like fuck this, safe mode it is. I boot into Safe mode, and I go went scorched earth on this thing. Deleted all the files, went into the registry, clean all of that out, and holy shit was this thing all over the registry.
So I do that, reboot to get out of safe mode, and log back in, so far so good. I think I got all of it, and that piece of shit is off my computer.
And just for good measure, I removed ALL AVG stuff. They can go burn in hell now for all I care.
Now for the second problem, this didn’t happen to me, but a friend of mine. His computer was all fucked up, I assumed it was due to all the Russian porn he downloads.
What was happening was every time he did a search in Google about every 3 searches or so, when he clicked on a link, the browser would reirect him to this LiveSearchNow garbage.
So when he asked me to look at it, my first thought was spyware. So I had him run a couple different scans with different stuff, there were a few things found, but nothing too exciting.
So I test it out, still getting redirects.
My next thought, root kit.
So I downloaded TDSSKiller, ran that, it did find 1 thing, killed that, tested it out, same thing.
So Now I’m like What the fuck, lets go old school style.
First I cleared his Cache and cookies ( I know that won’t do fuck all but I like to start with that. )
Then checked the LAN settings, made sure there wasn’t come sort of proxy in there, there wasn’t.
Next, checked his host file, that was fine.
Next checked the TCP/IP to make sure that it was getting the IP automatically
At this point I was sort of stumped, and really tired.
He uses Firefox, and just for the hell of it I fired up Internet Explorer. Farted around in there, nothing. It was fine, did like 20 searches, nothing.
So then I’m like, ok, this must be a FireFox issue.
Then I started to feel REALLY retarded. I went and I checked his firefox extensions. Which honestly should have been like the first thing I should have checked.
I went in there, and there was a Plugin for “CWA App by We-Care.com”
That was what was doing it. He had installed something else that bundled this into the installation (and didn’t actually tell you, I was all ready to be all READ THE FUCKING TERMS AND CONDITIONS WHEN YOU INSTALL SOMETHING) but then I reinstalled it just to make sure that was what caused it, and yeah, it was a silent install.
So yeah, fuck them too, they can share the bowl of dicks with AVG
Full disclosure, I do not have a Facebook account. I honest to god do not see the purpose of it. People with too much time on their hands. I don’t want to reconnect with people from High School, if I didn’t want to lose contact with them I wouldn’t have. I have plenty of friends from high School all over the country which I stay in touch with regularly. I don’t need some stupid fucking site cluttered with junk I don’t care about to do that. Also when I talk to those people, we talk about relevant things, not pictures of them getting wasted somewhere. Nor do I give 2 shits about what some person I don’t even know has to say about, well, anything.
But I digress.
So apparently Facebook had some sort of Democracy where users could vote on changes to the site. A few weeks ago, they announced that they would be making all sorts of changes to their privacy policies, and what they do with data they collect, and all sorts of other shit.
Keep in mind, Facebook is a publicly traded corporation, which has to answer to it’s share holders. What some 14 year old girl, 19 year old Community College student, and 45 year old single mother have to say, really means fuck all to them.
Needless to say the internet nerds got their panties in a bunch. You know, the Macbook using, horn-rimmed glasses, scare wearing, latte drinking douche bags who think everything on the internet is their right, and should be free, and should be exactly like they want it to be. but that is a rant for another time.
Anyhow so a few weeks ago Facebook said it would put it to a vote, they would let their users decide if they should keep playing nice the way they have, or turn into a Google/Microsoft type asshole, sitting in a dark room masturbating to all the data of yours it has mined.
The catch was, the majority of the vote had to be to reject the change, AND it required 30% of users to vote.
When I read that I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. That is one of the emptiest promises I’d ever heard in my life, they might as well have pissed on your head and told you it was raining.
30% of their 1 billion users is 300 million people.
THERE IS NOT A MOTHERFUCKING CHANCE IN THE WORLD 300 MILLION PEOPLE WERE GOING TO VOTE FOR IT.
Seriously, that was one of the most ridiculous things I’d ever read.
I garunfuckingtee with 100% certainty that there are not even 300 million active users.
I’ve been doing this internet shit for a while, I work for a user based internet company, I know how you fuck with the numbers. Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of manipulating for advertisers.
The general industry standard for an active account means that the account owner has logged into the account at least once in the last 30 days.
But there are TONS of ways around that. You can adjust the time and say if they have logged into with in a year. Or if SOMEONE has accessed their page in a year. So you know, you set up a page in 2008, never touched it in the last 4 years, but you have 500 friends, and once every month or so someone does a daisy chain of friends and clicks on everyone. Even though YOU haven’t touched your page in years, some dipshit out there did.
From my experiences both personally, and professionally, I’ve found that for a user-based community that has been established for at least 3 years, the general amount of truly active users is around 12-15%
So Facebook wanted 300 million people to vote, but I highly doubt, that even being nice they even have a quarter of a billion active accounts.
So right off the bat, they probably don’t even have enough active users to make this vote count.
Very fucking few.
When Facebook announced they were going to do this poll, after I got done laughing I told a person that if they got even a million people to vote, I would be SHOCKED.
over 299 million short.
Facebook was just tickling your balls a little bit before they shoved it up your ass.
So I was on the way home from work today and I was stopped for a train. there was this beat to shit pickup truck in front of me with a bumpersticker which confused the hell out of me.
It was this slutty chick bent over, and had one arrow pointing to her vag that said “Liquor in front” and then another arrow pointing to her butthole that said “Poke Her in the rear”
I stared at the thing for like 3 minutes totally confused. I was like, ok I get the Poke her in the rear. that means do her in the butt.
But i couldn’t wrap my head around the Liquor in the front part. I’m like, wtf? Are you supposed to rape her with a bottle of Wild Turkey, then sodomize her?
After a few minutes, then it dawned on me. It was supposed to be a joke that they failed miserably at. They miss spelled the Poke her in the rear part.
It was supposed to say “Liquor in the front” as in, ya know, lick the lady parts. Then stick it in her butt.
But it should have said POKER in the Rear.
Then it’s a joke, granted a really bad pun, but a joke nonetheless.
But when you spell the second half wrong, it loses all sense of hilarity.
She seriously is a dirty little whore. One of the things about living in Upstate New york, and on the lake is that the weather basically picks whatever the hell it feels like out of it’s ass every day.
Yesterday afternoon when I went for a walk around my building during my lunch break at work, it was sunny, almost 70, and was beautiful.
Today I went outside during lunch, and it was fucking snowing
If you watched the Spurs/Heat game last night, or read the sports page this morning, then you will know that last night in the game in Miami Spurs coach Gregg Popovich decided to sit Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, and Danny Green. when the Spurs hit the court they had a starting line up of: Nando De Colo (who averages 2ppg and 10 minutes), Patty Mills (who averages 4 points and 12 minutes), Tiago Splitter (who was like their star who averages 8 points and 18 minutes a game), Boris Diaw (who averages 5ppg and is 6 years passed his prime and fat), and Matt Bonner (who averages 4ppg and 11 minutes). Needless to say, this was not a Dream Team, and also needless to say David Stern was PISSED.
But here is the thing, it’s not like this isn’t something Popovich hasn’t been doing for years. He’s been doing it for a while, resting all his big names at once, and it’s never been an issue until last night, and the only reason it was, was because the game was nationally televised.
Know what I have to say to that?
And also for the hell of it
There are a number of reasons why this pisses me off. Not because Popovich did it, but because Stern got his panties in a bunch over it. Look, the goal, the ONLY goal of an NBA head coach is to win the championship. things like TV ratings and sponsorship deals are not something they worry themselves about. If they have a team that gets televised a lot, makes a shit load of revenue, that is great. But the coaches job depends in wins and losses.
So for Stern to get all bent out of shape for something Pop did to help his team in the long run? Fuck him.
There’s a bunch of things about this that piss me off. Know what? Fuck it, bullet point time.
In closing. Meh
If you watched the Celtics/Nets game last night, then you saw the little brawl that happened near the end of the first half. Kris Humphries fowls Kevin Garnett, Garnett falls down and goes boom, and Rondo attacks Humphries like a rabid pit bull.
Look, We’d all like to kick the shit out of Kris Humphries.
But fuck it, when you charge someone you KNOW you’re going to get ejected, you KNOW you are going to get fined, and you KNOW that you are going to get suspended.
So get your fucking moneys worth.
Now I’m not saying he needs to go all Kermit Washington on him. If you are a youngin, or don’t know your basketball history this will fill you in. Long story short, Kermit Washington punched Rudy Tomjanovich in the face during a game and almost killed him.
But what did Rando do? Nah, he just did a bunch of slapping, pushing, and scratching. LOTS of fucking scratching. that’s actually Humphries arm up there.
Now, on top of this, how fucking stupid is Rondo?
The the Celtics need him to win.
And here is the worst part. The Celtics haven’t been doing too great this year, and you know why? Because Rondo has been too busy worrying about getting the record for most games in a row with 10 assists.
He was up to like 37 or something last night, the record is 45 by Magic Johnson.
Rondo has played like shit this year, and actually making the team worse because he has been so caught up with the assist record. He’d pass up wide open shots, just to pass the ball to someone in hopes they would take a shitty shot and make it. I’ve seen him at least 20 times dribble down the shot close to like 2 or 3 seconds, then fire it off to Pierce of Terry and FORCE them to take a last second shot. It’s a garbage shot, but if they make it he gets an assist.
His relentless pursuit of the record has totally fucked up the flow of the offense.
Last night, he only had 3 assists before getting ejected.
So basically, it was all for nothing. Sacrifices good play all season to chase his own personal glory, and ends up not getting it in the long run because he would instead rather act like a little thug bitch.
Besides, you’re not an enforcer Rondo. That is what Jason Collins is for, cause it sure as hell isn’t for anything else
I can remember a time when in the gaming world when it came to sports game, EA sports was the proverbial shit. Everything they did was A+ #1 dynamite. But they they started to slip. Then the 2k series of stuff came out, and I guess I started to get spoiled by those, because the NBA 2k series in my mind is the best basketball game out there. But then the EA stuff started going down hill, and fast. And what the hell ever happened to the NBA Live series? NBA Live 95 was some good shit. NBA Live 10, well, that was just straight up shit. and they haven’t made another one since. Not that I’m really missing it since I got my 2k.
With the Madden series, I still think 2005 for the Playstation was the best one. Each year since that it got a little worse and worse. I wasn’t that much of a fan of Madden 12 on the PS3. On the Wii is was basically unplayable. But on the Ps3 it just felt…. off. It even though there were more features, it actually felt slimmed down.
And don’t even get me started on the Super Star mode. Another place where NBA2k blows it out of the water. In NBA 2k you start off as a bumb, you have to work your way up to even get playing time.
In Madden 12, I was a QB, got drafted by the Packers, and they benched Aaron Rodgers for me. I’d get eleventy billion skill points per game and by the end of the season I wad a 97 rating. Lame.
But anyhow, so I got Madden 13 just for shits and giggles. Figured it had to be an improvement over 12. I’ll say visually it’s more pleasing, looks sleeker, feels more substantial. the game play is a little better.
But some of the technical aspects are annoying as fuck, and some downright ridiculous.
I’ve been playing Franchise Mode with the Bills. Figured if I’m going to torture myself in real life being a Bills fan, might as well do it virtually as well.
For starters, just like every other Madden version, the commentary will make you want to kill yourself after a couple games. They keep repeating the same shit over and over, even in the same game.
Although I will say I like the combo of Jim Nantz and Phil Simms this year over Gus Johnson and Chris Collinsworth.
But worse than that, there are bugs in it that keep fucking up.
75% of the time when ever i sack a quarterback with Marcell Dareus the commentators say Marques Colston. that doesn’t even make sense.
There have been a few times I’ve run the ball with Fred Jackson, and after the run they will say “Well the coach can’t be happy with that fumble” even though there was no fumble.
I’ve had games where Kyle Williams somehow managed to lose tackles during the game. He’ll have 5 at half time, get a few more, and then at the end of the game have like 3.
On one play, it was 4th and 17 and I went for it, I ended up throwing an incomplete pass to Johnson. I hit pause, and the option to challenge the play was there. I used it, and it over turned the play, gave me 1st down like 30 yards down field. The incomplete pass I threw wasn’t something close to the line, it was 5 yards over his head.
Also I noticed when I rush the QB from the line, I can usually go about a half yard over the line before the ball is snapped and they never call offside.
I’ve only been called for holding once, actually that is the only penalty I ever got. I even went into the settings to make sure I wasn’t in some sort of arcade mode or something or that the sliders were really low.
Also I played an entire season, and only had 1 person injured all year. C.J Spiller. 4 times.
I’d say the game is a wee bit better than 12, but over all, I am not all that impressed
I looked at the chat window for a second, then was like, what the fuck? Version 17? We’re still trying to fix compatibility bug with version 13.
Pretty much anyone who works for an Internet Based IT company will tell you, the worst thing you can hear is that some major 3rd party product which interfaces with your product has released a new version. Seriously, it’s about as enjoyable as a swift kick to the nuts. There are always, ALWAYS going to be conflicts somewhere. Always.
But Firefox is getting out of fucking hand. It always bothers me when someone puts out new official releases for stuff way too often. If these are to fix security and compatibility issues, why the hell don’t you alpha and beta test them longer? Why are you going to put something that you know there is a damn good chance is going to have problems.
No one really started using Firefox till version 1.6. Even then it wasn’t anything that was super highly used. that was released Feb 9, 2004.
Firefox 1.5 and 2 were sort of a Joke, the first REAL update they had was Firefox 3. which was released June 17, 2008. Nearly 4 years after 1.6. their next real (and in my mind best) release was with 3.6 which was released Jan 21, 2010.
So as you can see, there is a pretty big gap between the releases, In between they did all sorts of testing with alpha and beta versions before launching a full release.
In the first 6 years they really only had like 4 MAJOR releases.
Fast forward to now days.
Every time you turn around, there is a new one.
And here is what the biggest pain in the ass is. They release these, and inevitably there are not going to be comparable with something. On the backend for our things there is xml, and pearl, and cgi, and asp, and php, and .net, and java, and flash, and basically fucking everything. It takes a long fucking time to get stuff built that will be backwards compatible with industry standards.
But with Firefox lately it makes the browser nearly unsupportable. Granted, I say that as I sit here writing this in Firefox. But from an engineering stand point, there is no way to keep up.
Like I said, we’re still trying to work on compatibility bugs with version 13 which was released June 5th 2012. Now we’re not a company the size of Google who can have a team of people that are solely dedicated to making things compatible with Firefox. We have other things that are more important, like versions of Windows, Office Products, Macs, mobile devices. and quite frankly, we conform to industry standards, so really it should be up to them to make them compatible with us, not the other way around.
But when ever we have a client who updates to the latest version, and they have issues, it is always our fault. Never mind the fact that everything worked fine until they upgraded to some new release of a browser that came out 5 hours earlier and isn’t even remotely close to being a supported product on our end. But to make matter worse, with browsers and all their fucking plugins now days, that is just an added layer of crap to sift through. You know how often we run up against people whit problems, and the problem is because they installed some dumbass plugin that was written by some 14 year old in his bedroom that really had no idea what he is doing?
Firefox 13 came out June 5th
14 came out June 26, 2012
Seriously, there is NO FUCKING EXCUSE to have a new stable release version released after 3 weeks. All that means if that the previous version was NOT stable.
15 came out August 28, 2012
16 came out October 9, 2012
17 came out November 20, 2012
That is just goddamn ridiculous. I should also point out that Firefox 18.0 Beta 1 is already out.
So Mozilla, buddy, how about you guys slow the fuck down. How about leaving the newest version in the testing stages a while longer to make sure they are actually good. Put out a new release like every 6 months like a normal company. Stop trying to just churn out as much shit as humanly possible.
It’s just going to end up causing problems.
So today is Thanksgiving, a day when most Americans will sit around with family they don’t want to see, eat a shit ton of food, and watch really terrible football games. For me, I’ll probably lay in bed all day (happily) catch up on some movies, take a few naps, and maybe have a cheese steak panini for dinner. Thanksgiving doesn’t really mean jack shit to me. Don’t really have much of any family around here, plus the whole Canadian thing. To me, it’s just a paid day off from work. So for that, I’m thankful.
But thanksgiving irks me the same was Columbus Day does. It’s one of those things you are taught in school growing up, that is a complete lie. But they manage to indoctrinate everyone with this thought of Pilgrims and Indians having this huge feats because of a successful fall harvest. Which isn’t even true.
If you are old enough, and had like great grandparents who lived long enough, they would have told you how up until about World War one, this whole story we are told wasn’t even a thing. Then it just started springing up. Then by like the 50′s they started teaching it in school.
Now, the thole thing isn’t a complete lie. There was an actual thanksgiving in 1637 in which was attended by white folk and Indians.
But it wasn’t because of the great harvest the inept Pilgrims had because the Indians taught them to put fish in the soil.
The Narragansett and Mohegan tribes were at war with the Pequot tribe. The Pequot tribe was sort of a bunch of dicks. The white men didn’t really care much for them either.
The Indians and the whitemen had been farting around together for years. They knew each other. But one thing that intrigued the Indians was the white guys guns. The Indian tribes had been at war for 3 years, fighting with basically nothing but fists, sticks, stones, and arrows, you know, useless shit.
So the Mohegan’s were like, shit, if we had some dudes with guns we could go fuck shit up.
So then the Indians were like, hey White dudes wanna go fuck shit up?
Men from 3 Colonies, Massachusetts Bay, Plymouth, and Saybrook colonies (not just a bunch of fucking Pilgrims) got together with the Indians to go murder them some Pequot assholes.
They ended up finding them in what is today Mystic, Connecticut. On May 26, 1637 the Mystic massacre happened. The Mohegan and White guys went and raided the Pequot village.
Now, keep in mind, there were virtually NO Pequot warriors there, this was in the middle of a war, they were all out fighting somewhere else. this was a village of between 4-700 Pequot people, all Women, children, and the elderly. there was no fight to be had. The Mohegan/White guy militia was being run by Captain John Underhill. Underhill being the massive douche he was, was like, Fuck it, kill them all.
Again, not warriors, but defenseless chicks, kids, and old farts. They went into the village, shot and stabbed anything they could find, blocked all exists, and set the place on fire. Anyone who tried to escape the fire by climbing a tree or something was instantly shot.
They all died.
After that the Pequot was pretty much over. All their women were dead, their kids were dead, their elder leaders were dead. A little later, after the Fairfield Swamp Fight, they were down to something only 50 people left in the tribe. Their leader Sassacus then got killed. By the time the Treaty of Hartford was signed, the Pequot were done.
But anyhow, so after Mystic massacre, the white dudes were returning home. When so many of the white guys returned home unharmed, Massachusetts Colony Governor, John Winthrop, proclaimed such a “Thanksgiving” to celebrate the safe return.
The thing that bugs me, is the bastardization of what happened, and why even make the shit up?
That wasn’t the FIRST thanksgiving. There had been plenty of thanksgivings before that.
The Pilgrims had their first thanksgiving in Plymouth in 1621 which actually was because of a good harvest. However, there were not any Indians there. In 1931 in Boston the Puritans made Thanksgiving an actual Holiday, but it was a religious holiday, nothing to do with Indians.
It’s just annoying, they could have just left it alone, but I guess just a bunch of people having dinner for shits and giggles isn’t sexy enough for Public School text books. So instead they took bits of information from here, bits from there, took all the parts they liked, left out the bad parts, and blended it all together into a hodgepodge of nonsense that never fucking happened.
I’m not one of those people. To me, this seems like bullshit. I’m not saying Bullshit because I don’t think it happened, I know it happened, there is video of it. But I’m saying Bullshit in the way it happened.
Jack Taylor ( the dude who did it) goes to Grinnell College. Grinnell College is basically the equivalent of a minor league baseball team. You know how minor league teams always try to have gimmicks to get people in the stands, like “worlds smallest batter’ or “worlds oldest batter” or have some player who retired 50 years ago pitch an inning, or have some local whore get fucked by a donkey. That is basically Grinnell College. they are like the dad who makes 1000 pitches of the wiffle ball and records all of them hoping for the moment the kid hits a line drive into his nut, so he can send the video to America’s funniest home videos.
Grinnell College is a fucking side show. It’s a D3 college, where I can get more people to pay to watch me masturbate in my back yard than they can get going to one of their games. They have been hell-motherfucking-bend on getting some sort of thing to go viral lately. Most people probably didn’t know, cause no one gives a shit about Grinnell College, but this is the same place that had another player score 89 points in a came 2 days ago (Griffin Lentsch). But no one gave a shit about that because it was under 100. Griffin Lentsch didn’t even play last night
This is just fucking stupid. If you have a single person on the team taking all the shots, yeah, no shit, you are going to score over 100 points.
In a post game interview Jack Taylor said, and I quote “I felt like anything I threw up was going in”
Lets take a look at the numbers
He was 52-for-108 (48%) and from 3 he was 27-71 (38%), and 7-10 (70%) for Free throws
That is average AT BEST
I’m pretty sure, literally ANY guard who is in the NCAA playing in D1 could score 138 points if they were given 108 shots, 71 of which were 3 pointers. Actually, if they didn’t their scholarship should be revoked.
108 shots AS A TEAM, by itself is a ridiculous number. That means they had to have gone out there with a plan for him to shoot every single time down the court within 5 seconds.
Really, this does not impress me at all, I can do better on NBA2k13 playing on the rookie level.
Lets take an NBA player. Not even a super star player. O.J. Mayo.
Taking his season average. Taking 71 3 pointers, and 37 2 pointers. From the same amount he would have score 171 points. And it’s not like we are talking Kobe or Lebron here.
Also know how many assists he had?
The answer is zero
also showing what a joke the game was, David Larson from the opposing team (Faith Baptist Bible) scored 70 points
However his 70 was on 34-44 shooting. THAT is actually pretty fucking impressive.
But as far as this Taylor dude goes, fuck you dude, you are a novelty. Maybe some shitty ass D1 school will give you and offer, I’m looking at you UC Davis (1-17) and Northern Illinois Huskies (2-16).
But after that no one will give a shit after Thursday
For the most part in basketball, I’m really more of a favorite player person that a favorite team person. There are some players and teams I hate. that is what made the Heat winning the championship so bittersweet. I hate the Heat, I’m not much of a fan of James. However, I was happy to see Mike Miller and Juwan Howard finally win titles. I’ve been big fans of theirs for their entire careers. So it was sort of a give/take.
Team wise, the only teams I’m actually a fan of and root far are the Spurs, Knicks, and Suns. I’ve never really had any sort of personal conflict, since when the Knicks were good, the Spurs sucked. when the Spurs were good, the Knicks sucked. And the Suns, well, they are the Suns. Really just a major cocktease you can’t really take seriously. And now they suck suck suck.
But for the Knicks, they are actually good this year. They interest me, because they confuse the hell out of me. The team they have RIGHT NOW, using the Rotations they use RIGHT NOW, and the health they have RIGHT NOW, I honest to God think this team could make a run at the title.
But again, RIGHT NOW
Lets face facts, this team is old as dirt. How much longer till Jason Kidd’s back starts to be a problem, or Rasheed Wallace’s back and knees. And Kurt Thomas’s ankles. It’s going to happen.
The thing about the team right now is their balance is perfect. What is going to happen when Stoudemire and Shumpert come back from their injuries? These are starters
Anthony has been playing the 4, he is going to have to go back playing the 3. Shumpert plays the 2. That means Ronnie Brewer and Jason Kidd are going to have to head to the bench.
But here is the thing, one of the reasons the Knicks have been doing so good thus far is because their defense has been out of it’s mind. Every Knicks game is televised here, so I’ve seen all of them. Seriously, their D is insane. BUT the anchors of it are Kidd and Brewer. Neither are going to score you a lot of points, but when you have Anthony, JR smith, and Felton on the floor you don’t need it. If it wasn’t for Kidds defense last week they would have lost to the Mavs.
But when those 2 come back, right off the bat, Chris Copeland and James white… You guys are either getting send to the D League, or waived. No question about that.
However, once you dump those 2, you have a legitimate 13 man rotation. I know it sounds good, but you CANNOT have that in the NBA. You really need a 9 or MAYBE 10 man rotation to get enough playing time with different rotations for players to get comfortable with each other. the 11 and 12 guys, you can play once every few games for the last 5 minutes of the game in garbage time.
But the thing is, this is a team of massive egos. and right now they are essentially using a 9 Man rotation. they got JR Smith, Rasheed Wallace, Steve Novak, and Pablo Prigioni coming off the bench. Kurt Thomas barely plays (he is 40 after all), and Camby is only playing more than 5 minutes if Chandler and Wallace both get in foul trouble.
But what about when Stoudemire and Shumpert come back?
Ok, Amar’e takes over at the 4. Shump at the 2. JR Smith and Rasheed Wallace have been the first guys off the bench so far, depending on if a front court of back court person needs to be replaced. Also Smith is 2nd on the team in minutes since well Kidd and Brewer can’t exactly play 35 minutes a game. But now what do you do? Brewer can’t play the 4 or 5, so he’s not going to replace Wallace. But then for the first guard off the bench, do you go Kidd or Smith?
I don’t see any way to win here. Kidd is not going to want to go from Starting and playing 28 minutes a night, to being the 2nd guard off the bench and playing 15. Brewer sure as hell isn’t going to want to go from playing 28 and starting to being 9th man and getting maybe 8-10 on a good night.
What about Prigioni? this dude is a 35 year old rookie, and actually pretty good. He would have Kidd, Smith, and Brewer in front of him off the bench. 4th guard off the bench? That’s going to end up with a lot of “Did No Play: Coaches Decision” in the box scores. Is a 35 year old rookie going to want that? Dude was a massive star in Europe, he is probably going to want to get something significant from over here.
what about Camby and Thomas? They are essentially out of the line up. Unless Chandler fouls out, they will only play in garbage time. I know Howard was happy with that in Miami, but again he was playing for a championship. Thomas might be ok with it, but I can see Camby becoming a bitch about it.
Then we have the bigger issue here. Stoudemire and Anthony cannot co-exist. Stoudemire fucks up everything. Right now Carmelo is playing the 4. He is a threat from 3, he can Handel the ball. So when the opposing 4 is playing him, you fuck up everything defensive for the team. They are going to have generally your strongest front court player playing totally out of position in your defensive set. You want someone like Kevin Love 30 feet from the basket? Nah, don’t think so. Not only does it open up all sorts of lanes for the back court players where they can run pick and rolls, or cut to the basket, or back door screens when the next thing you know you have Felton under the basket all by himself.
With Stoudemire, that ain’t gonna happen. He’s going to get the ball in the post about 10 feet away, next thing you know you have the other teams 4 and 5 clogging the lane. Can’t drive to the basket, that shit is going to get sent back. If you kick it out to someone on the wing, if you miss, you got the other teams’s defense in perfect position for the rebound. Not only that, but when they get the board, the defensive guards get to release when the shot goes up since they have their front court under the hoop, so when Kevin love, or Al Jefferson, Z.Bo get the board, their wing players are already passed half court, and you just gave yourself an easy as hell fast break.
This is why Small ball has become so popular in the NBA with people like Anthony, James, Durant running the 4. You fuck up the D.
I just don’t see any way for it to work properly once the injured players get back. I really don’t. It completely changes the entire scheme they are running right now. Maybe is Amar’e came off the bench instead, but I don’t see ANY FUCKING CHANCE of that happening.
Honestly, if I were the Knicks, I’d trade him. He is a completely worthless asset at this point.
But here is the problem with that. He has a MAX contract. A retarded one at that. Finding another team to actually take on that contract is going to be next to impossible. Remember why he signed with the Knicks? they were the only one who would give him that sort of money. the suns told him to Blow them where the Pampers is.
Even if they find a team dumb enough to trade for him, it’s really just going to bring in basically the same person in return. Matched up who could have even be traded for? Josh Smith? Pau Gasol? Just as useless.
If I were the GM, I’d find some team that is way under the salary cap (like the Bobcats) so you don’t have to have the dollar for dollar match in the trade to cover cap space, and then trade his ass for like Hakim Warrick. He’s a totally under rated player, and is used to sitting his ass on the bench and only coming up when needed.
But I don’t see that happening. One thing I have leared over the years from being a Knicks fan, if that their ownership is retarded. Dolan like to be the Jerry Jones of the NBA, and has no fucking idea what he is doing.
So while times are good right now in Midtown, I expect them to probably end up with like a 4th or 5th seed in the East and get knocked out in the 2nd round of the playoffs by the Celtics or Heat.
I am done with this celebrity nonsense. A while back I said that if I got one more nasty gram from some C list celebs lawyer that was going to be the end of it. Well, I ended up getting 2 of them the other day.
I just don’t have the time and interest in dealing with that stuff any more. It was one thing when I was like 23, and it was sort of funny. But now it has just become a massive pain in the ass.
I’m not going to shut the site down or anything. However, it’s going back to the way it was back in the 90s. Enough of this daily posting of various famous sluts doing stupid shit. It’s going to go back the way it was when I first started. The posts I’m going to do are going to be real posts with actual content. Some happy, some sad, some funny, some angry (mostly angry), and the occasional boob.
I know this is going to alienate 95% of the people who come here. Frankly, I don’t care. The other 5% who have been here for years, or even from the very start will probably be happy getting back to the roots from the watered down infotainment garbage it has become.
But back to simple, and back to substance. I’m actually going to be shutting down a bunch of sites, actually almost all of them. I’m going to keep this around as my blog, then I’ll also keep naked-ladies.us and asian-hotties.net around for the adult side. Those do well, and I don’t have to worry about lawyers since everything on those is licensed.
For those coming here to see posts of like I have been going for the last few years, sorry, those days are gone. There are plenty of other sites on the interwebs out there that you can go to. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still make the occasional post about famous people. But no more copywritten images. It’s not worth it.