Archive for the "WTF" Category

Should have never gotten out of bed today

Ever have one of those days that is just fail after fail?

Yeah that was me today, it was like I never woke up this morning, and was in a total fog all day. Pretty much everything I did was wrong, and kept having brain farts all day long

- When I was getting ready for work, I got out to my garage, realized I left my water bottle in my room. So went back and got it.

- I left for work, I get to the end of my street, and I realized that I forgot my cell phone, so I turned around, went back and got it.

- I got about half way to work, and was like FUCK, I forgot by badge. I work in a secure building, so with out it, I can’t get in, and even if I make it to the guard, I can’t have anyone in my department sign me in since I’m the first one there, so I would have to sit in the lobby for 2 hours till the next person got there. So I turn around again, go home. I keep my badge on a hook in my bedroom. I get to the hook, wtf? not there. So then I start tearing my room apart looking for it. Yeah, bout that. I already had it on. I put it on when my collar was up, and when I put the collar down it went over the thing the badge hangs from. So that pissed me off

- I get to work, get to my desk, go to login to my system. I have 11 passwords for all the various systems and applications I use. I was drawing a total blank as to the password. I just looked at my keyboard for like 3 minutes till I remembered it

- Next, I needed to do some NSLOOKUP’s on a few IP addresses to get their PTR and I open up a command prompt, and instead of doing an NSLOOKUP I was pinging the IP address, and then wondering where the hell the answers section was (that’s probably only going to mean something for the nerds)

- Once I figured out what I was doing, I needed to make an SSH connection to one of the servers. That was like trying to figure out the meaning of life. I shut everything down, and just looked at the desk top on one of my screens thinking to myself there is something on there I need. Then I open up a new command prompt, and am life, wtf am I doing. I gave up and checked last nihts basketball scores online then remembered, OH YEAH, I gotta launch Putty in order to make the SSH connection (that’s also only going to make sense to the nerds)

- When I went to lunch, I went to log out of my phone, to which I have to put a code in the phone so that people know that I am on lunch. Yeah I forgot how to do that and ended up dialing some random person in the company’s extension. I just hung up on then.

- Later in the day I was getting a head ache, I took my glasses off to rub my eyes, when I went to put my glasses back on, I showed one of the arms right into my eye.

That was about the time I said fuck this, spent the next 45 minutes just reading wikipedia articles, and then logged out for the day and went home. Luckily I was able to make it home without killing myself.

and now I’m going to curl up in bed with some green tea and watch FDR: American Badass because it looks like it might be the worst movie ever made

Little creepy

Never been so glad someone was dead

For the most part, I am a rather cynical person. I generally hate people.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have no doubt heard about the worthless piece of shit guy in Connecticut that walked in to A FUCKING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and started shooting people.

Look. I hate people. I hate children. I don’t like looking at them, I don’t like being around them, I don’t like hearing about them. the only child I ever liked was myself.

But with that said, I wish I was a religious person so I could believe that there is a special place in hell for this piece of shit.

Adam Lanza. fuck you. I just wish that you hadn’t killed yourself and one of the cops could have put a bullet in your fucking head.

Generally when it comes to big massacre type things, I am totally apathetic, I don’t give a shit. That Batman thing? don’t care. Columbine? don’t care. Virginia Tech? Don’t care. 9/11? Don’t care.

I don’t really give a shit about when adults die. I did most of my good living at 17-21 so if I were to die today, meh, who cares, I lived a good life. In the case of the movie theater, or high schools, don’t care, you’re old enough to either get the fuck out of the way, or stop it. Sort of like that 9/11 plane in PA. I’m not a 9/11 conspiracy theorist or anything, but you can’t tell me that plane was not shot down. A few brown guys with Box Cutters? Are you shitting me? If I’m in a steel tube 30,000 feet in the air, you better bet your ass I’m going to rush that mother fucker. Why not? Get cut a few times? who cares? A hell of a lot better than a fucking plane crash. You can’t tell me on a plane with a couple hundred people there weren’t 20 who would be like fuck this lets jump them?

Anyhow, I got off topic.

Like I was saying, dead adults, don’t care.

But walking into an elementary school and opening fire?

That is just fucked up. These are little kids. These kids probably had no idea what was even happening. They were probably completely confused. They aren’t old enough to realize how fucked up the world is.

All this tells me is that she shooter was a coward, and a pussy.

Fuck him, I’m glad he is dead, and I hope he burns in hell.

The Houston Rockets hate the jews

This is why we should stop funding the arts

This is for Mr. Nat

He’ll get this. But just him

This might be the worst free throw of all damn time

This is why I hate clowns

You need 500-1000 anal breaths a day or you will hate your asshole

Confusing bumpersticker

So I was on the way home from work today and I was stopped for a train. there was this beat to shit pickup truck in front of me with a bumpersticker which confused the hell out of me.

It was this slutty chick bent over, and had one arrow pointing to her vag that said “Liquor in front” and then another arrow pointing to her butthole that said “Poke Her in the rear”

I stared at the thing for like 3 minutes totally confused. I was like, ok I get the Poke her in the rear. that means do her in the butt.

But i couldn’t wrap my head around the Liquor in the front part. I’m like, wtf? Are you supposed to rape her with a bottle of Wild Turkey, then sodomize her?

After a few minutes, then it dawned on me. It was supposed to be a joke that they failed miserably at. They miss spelled the Poke her in the rear part.

It was supposed to say “Liquor in the front” as in, ya know, lick the lady parts. Then stick it in her butt.

But it should have said POKER in the Rear.

Then it’s a joke, granted a really bad pun, but a joke nonetheless.

But when you spell the second half wrong, it loses all sense of hilarity.

This is pretty insane

Barbie is a twisted bitch

PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!!!

This is a favorite of the Infamous Jonnynat

Goddamn Asians

Best song ever?

This does not make my pants tight

Soooo. Is Prince Charles a Furry?

Well, he is married to a horse after all.

and yeah, those two are totally gonna Yiff (I think that’s what it’s called) later.

Turkey vag?

I don’t understand this tattoo

God Asia is weird

So we all know Asian is weird, between their fascination with making robots you can have sex with, and buying underwear from a vending machine, they pretty much have the market cornered for weirdness.

So there is this teen girl clothing store in China, Yuekou, that only uses primarily one model for all their clothing.

That model is the 72 year old Grandfather of the designer. It’s pretty damn weird, even by Asian standards